I am a little surprised that quilters are so reluctant to be up front about their quilts. In another thread I told how I asked for a quilt back and am making another for a nephew and his wife, one more to their taste (the first one was won in a raffle). Why should the fact that the quilt is absolutely not to their taste stand between us. Someone else will want it and if they kept it anyway it would always be a problem (an in-the-closet one).
We make quilts for creative outlet and for love, and sometimes for money for a raffle. If the fit of quilt to person isn't right then that's OK. For one "auction" I donated 5 lap quilts but told them they had to have a minimum of $70 per quilt because that is the actual cost of those quilts (fabric, batting, thread, percentage of annual machine cleaning, etc.). They put the price at $100 each and they all sold. The school felt good and I felt good and will probably do more this next year. The point being, speaking up isn't bad... it can make everyone feel better.
Usually I talk to the person for whom I intend to make a quilt (DIL right now) and ask what that person wants (ocean, blue, etc.) But recently I held my breath when I gave my sister a "fun" quilt as a surprise and she absolutely loves it. I could breath right away
. But if she had been hesitant I would have talked to her later and told her I'd make one more to her liking.
Quilts, especially for family, are made with love and love is never wrong. If they are not to the style and liking of the particular family/person, why not put them on your list of future quilts and take that one back and make them another? In my case it would be at least a year down the road, but that is better than awkwardness.
I'd tell them it's value, money-wise and evaluation-wise. I also tell them that if it doesn't fit in any way, I'd work with them on designing another. Family is worth everything. Why do we tip-toe so much. We all do, but it's nonsense. Now that I'm really old I see just what a mistake it is.