maryellen2u

I understand this problem. I gave my son and DIL a scrappy quilt my mother (now deceased) and I had lovingly made. A few years later I was visiting their home and noticed the quilt was on the floor of their bedroom as a dog bed for their two dogs. I had a quiet, private chat with my son about the sentimental value, time, love etc. that went into the quilt and how to take care of it. I suggested they keep it on a bed or in a cupboard so my grandson could appreciate it one day. I have not seen the quilt on the floor so I am assuming and hoping it is in a cupboard. You don't want them to feel guilty or obligated about the quilt but you just want them to appreciate and value it on all levels.

sewbizgirl

I can't see any way to communicate a dollar value to them without it being tacky. If I was the bride or groom I would be offended... even if you were my mother! I would want to take care of it because it was made with love, not because it was worth high dollars. Just TELL them how to take care of it, or tell them you will wash it for them when it needs it, if you are that concerned they will ruin it. I machine wash and dry my quilts. How wrong could they go?

sewmary

I would no more include receipts/appraisal with a quilt than I would tape a receipt to any other gift. It just doesn't feel right to me.

I also think that if one is somehow worried that a quilt is not treasured as you want it to be, then perhaps you shouldn't be making a quilt in the first place. Not everyone has the same values or taste.

drJaner

I made a king-size quilt for my son and his (then) wife. After he remarried, his new wife put the quilt in a recycling box even though it had a label on the back saying it had been hand-quilted for my son. Thankfully, my dd rescued it and I have it with me now. I've never mentioned it to my son.

I can understand how a new wife wouldn't want bedding that another woman had used, but I will never make another quilt for that son. His kids, yes, but he and his wife, no! Although I do think that once a quilt is made and gifted that it's up to the new owner what they want to do with it. That new wife didn't own that quilt she was throwing away so she was wrong....she should have folded it up and put it away in a closet.

ging10ging

My first thought is how old are the kids to marry each other? Do they know or have any ideas about your quilting? I would let them know in a nice way that they should insure the quilt with their homeowners insurance that way they can ask you questions about the quilt and know it's value. Sue

roselady

My Son got married a few years ago and I made them a queen sized quilt as a gift. Last year I asked them if I could put it in our local quilt show. This was a quilt that I had designed myself, hand appliqued and partially hand quilted. When they brought it to me, it was quite dirty, and had a 1/2 inch layer of cat hair on it. I was so dissappointed and not sure what to do. I didn't know if they didn't like it so they let the cat use it, or what. I finally decided to talk to my son about it. He said they love the quilt, and knew that their playful cat was laying on it, playing on it etc... while it was on their bed, they were afraid that if they put it away, my feelings would be hurt that they weren't using it. He decided that they would put it away for awhile until the cat got a little older and settled down. I have always had a great relationship and great communication with my son, so I felt sure talking to him would be the right way to go. Somewhere in the conversation I did mention that the quilt was probably worth more than he would think and get more valuable over the years if it is taken care of. I also at that time gave them "permission" to love it to death if that is what they wanted to do. If someone gave me something that had a value that I was ignorant of, I would appreciate knowing it.

Farm Quilter

If you have it appraised by a certified appraiser, give a copy of the appraisal with the quilt and let them know that their insurance company - for renters insurance or homeowners insurance - will need a copy of it in case of fire or theft. That way they can see for themselves the value of the quilt without you having to tell them the cost. Also, do add care instructions (separate label?) so they know how to care for the quilt. Keep a copy of the appraisal for yourself...may just need it!

justflyingin

See this is where we are all different. In my house, I would expect cat hair on any blanket/quilt, bedspread that is in the house as we have cats and I don't ban them from the beds. 1 inch thick seems excessive, however...I'd wash the quilt!

But you were pretty brave to try to show a quilt that you made several years ago and has been in use (and not just hanging from a wall somewhere as a wall hanging). I'd never ask someone for a quilt back in that case. I'd expect it to be too worn or faded to show proudly.

GramMER

This is an excellent idea! Even though we really do not expect a disaster, there is always a chance and having items like this "appraised" for insurance purposes is a must. Add that special little poem to it and voila! You have accomplished what you need to accomplish without patting yourself on the back.

Wonnie

I so agree with Tothill. The choice of how much to spend for a wedding gift is up to the "giver". Once decided , you cannot dictate how the gift is used. When it leaves your hands it becomes "theirs" to use ( or not ) as they see fit. Your choice of design, fabric, etc., no matter how exquisitely made, may not be theirs. Young people have very definite ideas as to how they choose to decorate their homes these days. What good is a gift if you have to keep it tucked inside a drawer or cedar chest carefully wrapped inside of acid free paper for the rest of its life.