I'm learning
08-17-2011, 10:11 AM
#41
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Lincoln NE
Posts: 865
It is hurtful, but I am sure they didn't intend to hurt. Most likely they just were never taught that Thank-You notes are proper, and a phone call is even better.
The quilts and ornaments are very lovely, I am sure they like them, just don't have the ettiquette to let you know.
It is true sometimes people do not like what is recieved, and it is definitely true most people don't understand the cost or time put into a quilt, so we just need decide how much we want approval, or if we give becuase it makes us feel good.
I began a quilt for someone, who didn't know I was making it. Before I was able to get it done, the occasion was over, and he went all loopy and now I don't feel he deserves a quilt. It is the most expensive and about the prettiest (masculine pretty in batiks) that I have ever done (except for Butterfly Prayers). Now, I have a $200 quilt done except for a tiny bit of FMQ and binding - and don't know who to give it to. Every time I think of someone, I think "but are they worth $200 and all the time I spent on this quilt?".
The quilts and ornaments are very lovely, I am sure they like them, just don't have the ettiquette to let you know.
It is true sometimes people do not like what is recieved, and it is definitely true most people don't understand the cost or time put into a quilt, so we just need decide how much we want approval, or if we give becuase it makes us feel good.
I began a quilt for someone, who didn't know I was making it. Before I was able to get it done, the occasion was over, and he went all loopy and now I don't feel he deserves a quilt. It is the most expensive and about the prettiest (masculine pretty in batiks) that I have ever done (except for Butterfly Prayers). Now, I have a $200 quilt done except for a tiny bit of FMQ and binding - and don't know who to give it to. Every time I think of someone, I think "but are they worth $200 and all the time I spent on this quilt?".
08-17-2011, 10:45 AM
#43
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Bloomsburg, PA
Posts: 119
After reading all of this I agree a gift is a gift but if I send something to someone no matter what it is I would at least like to know they received it or I would be calling to see if they did.
You can send me a quilt and I'll call you the day I get it and thank you thank you thank you. LOL
They are beautiful.
You can send me a quilt and I'll call you the day I get it and thank you thank you thank you. LOL
They are beautiful.
08-17-2011, 12:07 PM
#44
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: So. CA
Posts: 1,867
Any time I send a package, I always call ahead and let them know its on it's way and ask that they let me know that it arrived so I don't worry that it's been lost or stolen. I don't expect thanks, just confirmation of arrival. Maybe that will work for you. Sorry about your disappointment. Your work is really pretty and I love your dove ornaments. I've copied them so I can try to duplicate them. Did you use a pattern?
08-17-2011, 12:14 PM
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Kingwood, Texas
Posts: 3,112
Those are amazing. I agree with others that a gift is a gift, however, I would make a quick call and make sure the package was received. If they got it, then your know in your heart you have done all you could, if not contact the post office ASAP so they can help track it. BTW, if either decide they don't want their quilt...I would be more then gracious for you to gift to me. ;) J/K!!! HUGS!!!
08-17-2011, 12:25 PM
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 647
Lois, I know exactly how you're feeling. Last year I sent both of my nephews a box full of my homemade soaps. At least 10-15 bars each. All different scents and colors...because I know they like my soap. I KNOW that they received the boxes and months went by and I heard NOTHING. I was very hurt because I put a lot of time and effort into making those soaps and giving them the best looking bars...for what???? Not even an acknowledgement that they received it? I've spoken with both of them now and they know how I feel, so in the future they know to give me a ringy dingy to say thanks. If anyone ever took the time to make me a quilt or homemade gift I'd be thrilled and over the moon. You bet your bottom dollar I'd be giving them my thanks and appreciation!
08-17-2011, 06:32 PM
#49
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Monroe, NJ
Posts: 2,657
The quilts are beautiful and you should call ASAP. When you know they got them, chalk it up to lesson learned and don't even send them a card again. When they bring it up (like they probably will) just tell them why they don't get gifts anymore. With all the forms of communication now, a thank-you should not be a problem. I would be hurt,too. Part of the joy of making it is seeing, or hearing, how happy they are to have it. If you don't feel it's liked, or appreciated it takes a lot of the joy away from you.
08-17-2011, 06:35 PM
#50
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Monroe, NJ
Posts: 2,657
Originally Posted by LoisN
Originally Posted by tms
A gift is just that... a gift. It should be freely given, with no strings attached, or you are setting yourself up for disappointment. The value of the gift, and handmade, or not, should not matter. You either want to give a gift and expect nothing in return, or you are expecting "payment" for the present even if it is as small as acknowledgement. Then when you are not acknowledged, thanked, praised or offered money, your feelings are hurt. I understand this. I have been there. However, the fault is mine and/or yours, for expecting "payment". You either want to give something and truely expect nothing in return, thus a "gift" or you should make your expectations clear and express your hurt feelings, or forgive and forget it. You are only hurting you by being upset about it or looking for "reward or payment" in round-about ways.
Sorry for writing a book. Hope this helps everyone. God bless us all!!!
Lots of love, Teresa
Sorry for writing a book. Hope this helps everyone. God bless us all!!!
Lots of love, Teresa
Thanks for your honesty. You are precisely right and I need to let go of the gift. Sometimes I just need the grounding of this group to carry on. Thanks again.
Lois
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