AprilM

Hi, there… i dont think i have posted here since 2022 (wont go into it).

But that isnt why im posting today. This morning i was at my church Bible study - just 3 of us who always enjoy each others company. The hostess had a very large notebook sitting on the coffee table where i usually sit on the sofa. I didnt think much of it at the time until she asked me - knowing i am a quilter - if i knew a certain lady who also was a quilter. Well, yes i did!

Well turns out that the hostess grew up with the lady. The quilter passed a few years ago. The notebook was full of photos of quilts made by this lady. The hostess had found the notebook at a thrift shop last year - it caught her eye because she knew the lady, so she bought it and took it home not knowing what else to do. Last week she remembered she had the notebook and thought i might like to have it if i also knew the lady.

ive heard it said hundreds of times, “they dont want your stuff after youre gone.” Seeing the notebook and all of the photos of her quilts knowing how much of her life they represented just plain made me cry. And the notebook somehow ended up in a thrift shop. That really breaks my heart.

At some point i will try to figure out a more befitting place for it to be. She was a wonderful and very accomplished lady. I guess i shouldnt be surprised but i am. I cant imagine that it wouldnt at least have been offered to her guild as a piece of history - maybe it was, but they didnt want it. But ending up in a thrift shop, thats a hard one for me to get my head around.

Thank you for listening…

GingerK

Ahh April. How true this is! The passions we have--whether it is quilting, collecting cat figurines, painting stones, or preserving our family's photographic history, do not seem to matter much to our progeny or the general public. I guess we all need to enjoy our passion as much as we can while we're on the right side of the grass, because there ain't no hearses sporting luggage racks and after we're gone, all bets are off as to where our stuff ends up.

I hope this lady's guild is willing to take possession of her notebook and will add it to their library.

b.zang

My husband recently passed and I'm realizing not just how much "stuff" he had but how much the two of us had together. It's going to take me at least a year to go through everything and I'm overwhelmed at the sheer enormity of the task. If your friend did not have a loving spouse or child who had the time to sort through a lifetime it's easy (yet sad) to understand how the notebook ended up in a thrift shop. Honestly, I'm impressed the thrift shop had it and that the notebook had not made its way into a recycle bin somewhere. Personal items such as that don't usually sell well.

Shepherdess55

If a local quilt guild isn't interested in the album, perhaps the closest historical group might be.

mary123

How sad that her family was not interested in it.

tropit

First, I'm so sorry for your loss of your husband. It's a hard thing to go through. Hugs to you. I might suggest that you spend the money to hire a professional organizer, or estate sales company to help you to through all those things. They will know what is valuable, sentimental, etc. and help you with the physical and emotional task of paring things down. I think that it's money well spent.

Iceblossom

My sewing group meets at a local library. A month or two ago we were recently offered an opportunity to go through a stack of magazines and books donated by a quilter/family. I went through my library pre-move and don't really feel the need to for any more books, but what I took was a large rather ratty 4"? binder full of things from drawings to patterns to pictures.

I haven't gone through it all the way, but I will spend some time with it. To see what was important to that person, to remember the changes and trends, to honor and recognize my fellow quilter...

And then ultimately, I will either keep/incorporate a few things or I will dispose of it. Ultimately they are not my memories, and even if it was one of my notebooks, my notebooks are just tools and are not my ideas or memories.

Going through my move and house of 30 years was really life changing. I have picked up and carried every item I own, mostly I find that I really don't want all that much that I'm willing to carry it on my back. I have shopped thrift stores heavily over the last 20 years, and some things just touch me. There are few things so sad to me as a baby album at the thrift store. But I can't save them all.

Onebyone

My guild is given many old picture/scrapbooks of quilts someone relatives have made years ago. We even have rounds of old slides given. What to do with them? We have no storage. Someone will have to keep the pictures at their home. It has become a problem of what do we do with them when the person keeping them says no more and brings them back. No one ever asks to see any of them.

AprilM

Good Afternoon, everyone… first, to b.zang - please accept my sincerest condolences on the the loss of your husband. Your have my heartfelt prayer that you find your way through this part of your grieving process as you sort through the memories and keepsakes of a life well-lived with your husband. It cant be an easy task but am wishing you peace and comfort in the process. I am struck that you too are indeed at the same place where the family of THE QUILTER might have found themselves last year. Sharing this part of your journey most certainly broadens my perspective on the matter. A heartfelt THANK YOU to you.

And THANK YOU to everyone else here for your very kind and sincere thoughts regarding THE QUILTER and the memories and mementos left behind that went unclaimed. Your well considered thoughts and responses are truly helping me to fill in the blanks that i might have overlooked in my first reaction to the memories left behind at a thrift shop that were somehow mysteriously found by a childhood friend and then placed in the temporary keeping of a fellow quilter and friend.

Might i have been a little too quick to judge the family who probably found themselves overwhelmed with their loved ones “stuff”? Maybe so. I was overwhelmed myself just seeing the book and the hours and life represented in those pages - over 450 photos. I kept asking myself WHY and couldnt come up with an answer… maybe thats because i am not in their shoes???

I am cognizant that at my age (70 this year) that i may well be of a different generation than the family of THE QUILTER. As such, i may not see things through the same lens as they do. My parents are gone now, and that is not the way i handled the “stuff” they left behind. But everyone is different.

Anyway, thank you ALL for helping me sort this out. I very much appreciate the thoughts you have offered here. Im not sure exactly what i should do with the book right now. But i am wondering that maybe all available avenues for its care may have been exhausted. Maybe i should keep it for a short while and show it to another quilting friend who knew her. Then find some way to let it rest in peace.

I VERY SINCERELY thank you ALL!!!

RedGarnet222

I am saddened by this thread. I honestly wish the person's family had a higher regard for the time, money and efforts of this woman's quilting life. But, like someone mentioned, the grief is monumental for the family. They are not in a great state of mind to make good decisions. We will never know what the family thought about her hobby.
I refuse to let that stop my enjoyment of sewing quilts and gifts during my life. It has been to me like a best friend. It makes me happy and not everything has that kind of power in my world. My friends. family and charities enjoy and value my work and time. So, I hope no one stops or feels undervalued because of these words. A sad testimony for sure.